I’m a Rock Star, I must be – I’m Headlining a London Show!
All ego aside London headlining gig is just what the doctor ordered apart from the fact I left the bar in Worcester at 5 this morning and my head is spinning like a Victorian child’s top! There is also a delicate matter to deal with i.e. the way my stomach is jumping around like a frog in a washing machine on full spin! I have been to the loo to many times to remember and I’m in hell.
The boys have already left by the time I surface and have taken a very large chunk of the gear with them so I’m kind of happy apart from the obstacles put in my way like not being able to move more than four feet away from a toilet without the oncoming of mass panic and trouser fumbling! I really need a cork I know its gross but you should learn the harsh reality of touring from someone who knows.
So I manage to get the van and get lost in the one way system of Worcester so badly that by the time I get back to the Marr’s Bar Hippy is standing outside the place surrounded by all the gear and looking none to sprightly for he to was swamped by Jack Daniels which doesn’t agree with him as well as it does with me he is more of a rum man! Marrsy had gone back to bed and locked us out only have to wake up again and provide me with my phone that I’d left on the fag machine!.
Finally on the road for the 160 miles to the Purple Turtle to meet the guys and Mick Monsta! I cant wait to play London and I hope the venue has a toilet very close to the front door. I arrived and leapt from the van shook Mick’s hand and ran inside! What was odd was that everyone there who I had never met knew my name! That only crashed into my conscious mind after the toilet was given a beating! This was not a surprise when I saw the posters all round the place outside and even on the toilet door! I always wanted my face on a toilet door!
The guys pulled up behind us and we unloaded and sound checked with a sound engineer who looked literally 12 years old but sure knew his business. Then I went to find the dressing room and was blown away to see I and the band had a rider a full on rider with what I asked for on it! OMG wonders will never cease! Then I said to Mick that the band were hungry and broke and you know what he did he got thirty quid out and said go get food mate no worries! I could have kissed his forehead tenderly but realised this might have been taken wrongly and ended in my death! While walking back from having eaten Roxy heard a teenage say to his mate “That’s Jim Distortion, cool!” That’s never happened before and was a direct result of the pictures and promotion that were everywhere! Nice little ego trip for me though!
Show time and we are standing next to the stage waiting to go on and getting more and more angry as the band before have run over and also covered the stage with water and flour and covered my guitar and roxy’s amp in crap! I wouldn’t mind but our fans had paid £9 to watch us and were gonna be treated to a ten minute show! After they came off the bass player was very sorry and I simply couldn’t let my temper run its course as time inside right now would be difficult!
When we finally hit the stage we were all flustered and angry as well as fully charged up! We played good and members of other bands I respect like the Mercy House came and complimented me on my voice which is always welcome as they wouldn’t bullshit another band if we were shit they would have told me I know that much!
The Purple Turtle was a good gig but without the stress that seems to go with any show we have to do these day it would have been perfect! Im tired now and just need to go home get in bed and wake up on Wednesday. Last gig in this run is Sunday 21st at YardBirds Grimsby! Ill be letting you know what happens for sure! Remember to join our page on Facebook just search for Distorted Breed!
Love, Respect and Rock n Roll
Jim Distortion
More info about what I do and my crazy life go to http://jimdistortion.wordpress.com
