Stick of Rock Review: The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing – “Margate Fhtagn (Cockles & Mussels mix)”

Well I must admit, this here stick of seaside rock, ie Margate Fhtagn, the latest single from those maverick Anachronists The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing, has rather taken me by surprise. Expecting the more usual peppermint genre, I was pleasantly surprised to find this quite a fruity little number.

Bearing the legends ‘TMTWNBBFN’ and ‘MARGATE’ lettered through its sugary form, and the catalogue number APRON006 on the sleeve, you may think that, even for a band that have released two singles on the long-defunct format of wax cylinder, this a strange choice of medium for a steampunk song.

But you’d be wrong there. I say what better way to convey the tune’s message of a jovial family outing to the seaside, and conveniently offloading troublesome old nan into the jaws of the great Cthulu in a death-metal-of-the-time fashion while you’re there, than with brain and tooth rotting sweetmeats. Seaside rock is the traditional treat for any seaside outing, however fatal or otherwise to your immediate family.

This is quite possibly the tastiest limited edition single I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve eaten a few. The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing have rocked me to my molars, and I look forward to the humbug Christmas single.

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(Oh, apparently there is a ‘recorded’ version of the song somewhere to go with the sweets, but I’ve had way too much sugar to work that out now, I’m off for a paddle!)

The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing play an exclusive show at The Lexington in Kings Cross on September 28^th.