Pure Rawk – Accept No Substitutes

After the recent departure of long-term guitarist Doyley who’d been with the Klingonz since ’86, the rumour mill went overdrive with talk of a split. But, as everyone knows, old psychobilly bands never die, they just do a three week matinee in hell, and tonight the psycho legends are back. Bring on the Klownz!

Tonight opens with London upstarts Hollywood Suicide, who have seemingly been doing the opening support for every ‘billy band going of late. And having seen a fair few of these opening slots, I have to say they’ve certainly come on a bit, tonight showcasing a much beefier sound and assured performance. Sadly, the infamously single-minded psycho audience here tonight give a stony silence between songs, so it looks like they’ve still got a lot to prove.

Strangely, the same can’t be said for Lucifer Star Machine, who definitely aren’t your usual psycho fare, but go down a storm anyway. Their unique brand of dirty rock n roll fits well into the vibe of the evening, radiating a dark good-time malevolence that really gets the crowd going, getting a roaring reception for their delightfully low-brow singalong Pussy Champagne. A fair amount of the crowd tonight look to be here as Lucifer fans, and may well have never even heard of the headliners.

The Klingonz ‘Klownz!’ theme has served them well over the years, and they kick off proceedings tonight with juggling and unicycle action from their own captive Klown, who hands out Klown noses for all. Taking the stage, it’s good to see new guitarist Dave Deville (of The Optic Nerves and The Highliners) getting into the spirit, in full Klown regalia.

Klingonz tonight put on a hell of a show, as well as being so visually arresting, the speed and violence of their classic psycho tracks gets the wrecking pit in full swing very early on, and by a few tracks in, the beer is flying. All of which is aided and abetted by the captive klown’s constant stream of silly string and water-pistol attacks.

By the end of their main set, a good natured chaos reigns the Purple Turtle (I think at one point the sword-swallowing act had become the stick a sword up your arse act), and frontman Titch calls for fresh beers for the band. A quick encore and the show finally closes with a breakneck slap-bass rendition of the Spiderman theme, a standard that Klingonz have very much made their own, and that never fails to please.

As the crowd clears a red Klown nose lies on the filthy floor, beer soaked and trampled, surrounded by tiny bits of silly string. That kind of sums up the evening really. HONK!